


The Walking dead

by malazuzu22



Series: Random short MadaTobi [5]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Experiments going wrong, Husbands bickering, M/M, Madara is so done, Meaning the crazy scientist type, Tobirama being himself, Tumblr Prompt, Zombie Apocalypse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-05
Updated: 2017-12-05
Packaged: 2019-02-11 02:47:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12925680
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/malazuzu22/pseuds/malazuzu22
Summary: Madara just hates being dragged into Tobirama's dubious experiments.A short thing for a tumblr prompt "don't even think about it".





	The Walking dead

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy! (:

‘What are we doing here?’ Madara looked around for that super important thing Tobirama wanted to show him, failing to spot anything significant in the middle of the forest clearing they were standing on. 

‘I told you already. I need to show you something.’ Tobirama brushed him off absentmindedly and produced a scroll out of his hip pouch. Madara, unwavering in his grouchiness, was starting to get really impatient. 

 

‘Kami, do you have to be so mysterious about it?’ The Uchiha huffed and peeked over Tobirama’s shoulder at the now unrolled scroll. Not that he could see very much over all the fluff of his ridiculous fur collar.

‘You wouldn’t come if I told you in advance.’ Tobirama answered simply. This remark spiked Madara’s interest and apprehension both at once. ‘In fact, I’m pretty sure you would even tell Hashirama to stop me.’ Tobirama continued in his stoic voice. 

 

Alright. If Tobirama thought Madara would sink so low to call Hashirama to his assistance, it truly had to be something serious. The feeling of foreboding made Madara shiver violently and he looked at the scroll more intently.

 

‘What are those weird diagrams? Are those some kind of seals?’ Madara asked carefully. If fuuinjutsu was involved the result of whatever kind of jutsu Tobirama was about to try out could very easily end up a disaster. They already were there before. Countless times actually.

 

‘Yes. I found those in the Uzushio library when we travelled there with Mito and Hashirama last month. It took me some time to understand them but I’m pretty sure...’ Tobirama started explaining excitedly.

‘Stop right there.  _Pretty sure?_  Like, couldn’t you be for  _one damn time_  one-hundred-percent sure before you make me try out some potentially deadly jutsu with you?’ Madara threw his arms up in exasperation.

 

‘What are you talking about? Have you ever died before?’ Tobirama rolled his pretty red eyes. ‘No, but it was a close call several times. Like those mutually multiplying explosive tags of yours.’ Madara snapped.

‘Those wouldn’t pose any problem if you didn’t let our pyromaniacal brothers land their paws on them.’ Tobirama shrugged noncommitally. ‘So now it’s my fault Kawarama and Takuma stole them from your laboratory and managed to set half of the Hyuuga compound on fire.’ Madara laughed humourlessly. 

 

In fact, he was secretly kind of pleased because Hyuuga were a bunch of annoying poncy pricks with ugly creepy pale eyes and wooden sticks shoved up their bony arses but that was neither here nor there.

 

‘Well, you were the one who was supposed to be guarding them.’ Tobirama pointed out. ‘Do I look like a baby-sitter? For fifteen years old teens nonetheless?’ Madara exclaimed indignantly. 

‘Since you were the one who grounded them for their latest trouble at that time, I dare to say, yes. They were your responsibility.’ Tobirama smirked, amused by Madara’s anger. 

 

‘It was also  _your lab_  full of dangerous stuff they broke into. And  _your sister-in-law_  who taught them all the fuuinjutsu nonsense so that they were able to break through the wards.’ Madara growled. The gall of that bleached bastard!

‘She also happens to be yours sister-in-law, sweetheart.’ Tobirama’s smirk widened into a grin at Madara’s enraged huff. ‘That’s not the point! And stop sweet-talking me, thank you very much!’ Madara’s enraged reply came out sounding more like a screech of an angry squirell.

‘As you wish, darling. Anyway. The scrolls were talking about new theories what happens with the soul in the afterlife and I think I figured out a way...’ Tobirama was abruptly interrupted by Madara’s hand slapping over his mouth.

 

‘No. You are not about to do what I think you are.’ Madara shook his head frantically as if it would dispell the sense of impending doom. This couldn’t be happening. Not again.

‘Come on, honey. It’s safe. Mostly.’ Tobirama pried Madara’s fingers off his face and squeezed the hand reassuringly. Not that it helped in the tiniest way to calm the dark-haired man down, on contrary.

‘Senju-Uchiha Tobirama, don’t you even think about it!’ Madara stomped his foot furiously to emphasize his demand. ‘It’s a bit too late for demanding that, don’t you think.’ Tobirama snorted dryly.

 

‘Tobirama, I dare you. I’ll fucking divorce you if you do that, I swear.’ Madara screeched, watching with horror how Tobirama used shunshin to flicked out of his reach and prepared for the summoning.

‘No you won’t. You love me too much for that. Kuchiose: Edo Tensei!’ Tobirama sent Madara a saucy wink and Madara watched as if in slow motion how his palm hit the ground and the black markings of some very complicated seal spread in a large circle around them. 

 

For a few seconds nothing happened and as Tobirama’s expression slowly turned into a disappointed pout, Madara almost felt the relief spreading over his body. 

 

Well, as they say, there's many a slip between cup and lip. Suddenly the markings started glowing as the summoning worked and the ground started cracking around them. To Madara’s utter dismay half-rotten ashy grey hands started emerging from the cracks all around them. 

 

It took Madara a few seconds to realize that the howl of rage and dread that resounded all over the forest was actually him. ‘Tobirama, for fuck’s sake! What was the only thing I ever asked you for?’ Madara yelled on top of his lungs while whipping his gunbai from its place on his back.

‘Please, fuck me harder?’ Tobirama glanced at him smugly over his shoulder, Raijin no Ken* ready in his hand. ‘The  _other_  one you moron!’ Madara growled, willing the redness off his cheeks while backing towards his idiotic husband until they were back to back.

‘Do not, under any circumstances, raise the dead?’ Tobirama seemed completely unfazed. ‘That! That’s the thing I asked you for when we got out of your last attempt at this dreadful jutsu. And you went and did what?!’ Madara on the other hand was mere seconds from going nuts.

‘Raised the dead.’ Tobirama laughed. He actually  _laughed,_ as if there was anything humorous about their situation. While they were bickering, the zombies crawled out of the ground and  surrounded the couple.

 

‘Wonderful, just _fucking_ wonderful! Is that what you intended to do from the beginning?!’ Madara kept yelling, maybe for the last time in his life. He always knew Tobirama was going to be his death. Only he imagined it more like having his brains fucked out of his head, not being eaten by a bunch of zombies.

‘No. There weren’t supposed to be that many and they were supposed to obey me.’ Tobirama scratched his chin with apologetic smile. ‘They were  _supposed to..._ I fucking hate you right now.’ Madara pinched the bridge of his nose in a failed attempt to contain his rage.

 

‘They are coming.’ Tobirama nudged him lightly to alert him, squeezed his hand reassuringly and ran towards a dozen of undead shinobi. With a feral scream Madara joined him in the deadly dance, slicing through the bodies to fight their way to freedom. He was so going to kill Tobirama for this!

Luckily for them once “killed” the zombies crumbled to ashes and remained dead. It took them about ten minutes to work their way through every last one of them and end yet another of Tobirama’s experiments going wrong.

 

Panting and sweating, Madara stomped furiously towards Tobirama who was sitting on his haunches above one of the crumbled bodies, most likely examining it.

 

‘Tobirama. My love. I’m dying to ask you one thing.’ Madara graced his husband with a radiant and very much deadly smile. It did absolutely nothing to intimidate the bleached bastard. ‘Yes, babe? By all means ask me anything.’ Tobirama stood up and smiled back cheerfully.

‘Pray tell. At what point, if any, did it cross your mind this might not be a good idea?!’ Madara’s expression turned thunderous in a blink of an eye as he screamed right into his face.

‘The moment I found the scroll and decided to try it out. That’s why I brought you. Nothing can ever happen to me as long as you’re protecting me.’ Tobirama leaned down until their noses were almost brushing, still smiling sincerely.

 

‘That’s... You... I... Fuck you! I hate you! I really, truly do! How dare you pull a stunt like this and then sweet-talk me afterwards?’ Madara wailed in exasperation and despair alike. That damned smile of his stupid husband always worked miracles and the bastard knew it all too well.

‘Come on. Let’s go home and I’ll prepare us a nice hot bath. And then I’ll do my best to make all the trouble up for you. What do you say?’ Tobirama looked straight into his eyes with that look that always made Madara’s knees turn into jelly.

‘I’m not that weak, you know...!’ Madara tried to oppose weakly but the kiss Tobirama silenced him with effectively ceased all further protests. ‘Alright. Let’s get out of here. Just promise me you won’t try this. Ever. Again.’ Madara demanded firmly.

 

‘Well. If I used some sacrifice the results might turn out to be better...’ Tobirama ventured thoughtfully. ‘Tobirama!’ Madara screeched, grabbing the Senju’s shoulders and attempting to shake some sense into him.

‘Fine, fine. As you wish. I won’t try Edo Tensei ever again. For you.’ Tobirama yielded. ‘As long as you don’t tell Hashirama a word about this.’ The white-haired man grinned brightly.

 

‘Why have I married you again? You are fucking terrible.’ Madara grumbled under his breath, turning on his heel and stomping away from him. ‘But I’m all yours. And I love you.’ Tobirama flickered to him and grabbed his hand, entwining their figers stained with disturbingly dark blood, rotten flesh and dirt.

‘That’s your only luck, I happen to love you too. Why it has to be me who’s stuck with crazy jutsu inventor with absolutely no sense for boundaries...’ Madara shook his head in mock-defeat.

‘Your life would be too boring without me.’ Tobirama pointed out as they walked hand in hand back into the village. ‘No, it fucking wouldn’t. But if anyone ever gets to kill you, it’s going to be me, not some creepy zombie things.’ Madara squeezed his husband’s hand. He, after all, was all his.

**Author's Note:**

> *Sword of the Thundergod
> 
> Well, that's it. Thanks for reading and I hope you liked it! <3


End file.
